That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
