Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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