The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I didn't notice because vodka
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
