he thought i was a dude.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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