What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Randomize
