I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
