goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
This is the high leading the old right now
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
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