Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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