it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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