I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
