Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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