just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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