Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Randomize