Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I need to stop coming to work sober
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
