you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Everything about him screamed your future.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
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