drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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