Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Randomize
