Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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