I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
