And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
