Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
