"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
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