there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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