How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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