We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
the condom got lost in my hair
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
