if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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