$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
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