i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Randomize
