the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
