fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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