he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
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He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
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Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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