you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
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