1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Is it because I queefed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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