haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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