I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Randomize
