my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Randomize
