Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Randomize
