i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
