So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
