we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
What changed your mind?
Being sober
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
