The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
