I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
