k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
