Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
