I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
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