I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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