I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize
