Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Randomize
