Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
We talked him into tasing himself.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
