I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
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I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
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I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
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