I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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