I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
