The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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