You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
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