An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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