I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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