know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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