and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Randomize
