Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Randomize
