I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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