i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Randomize
