none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I enjoy the company of your penis
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