Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
