To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
