i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
There are leaves in my underwear?
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
